That’s the title of the Encyclopedia Dramatica article that sent a rotund, failed British baby-kisser literally screaming and sobbing for police help after a decade of terrorizing Internet users.
The obscure blogger with a penchant for sadism and paedophilia (the word) recently published 9 articles in under a month claiming that Joshua Conner Moon and seven related people were involved in child sex child trafficking over unverifiable comments made on Encyclopedia Dramatica. This was his public-facing excuse for brash attempts at coercing the site administrator into taking down his online gossip forum, the Kiwi Farms, which featured an unflattering thread on Samuel. In the months before, he had tried to use the Kiwi Farms himself to start vicious rumors about fellow Wikipedia editors. When his plan backfired and people caught on to his eccentric behavior and legacy, Samuel lost his mind. His furious emails reached Joshua’s family, friends, friends of family, and family of friends — some of whom he had never met. Samuel’s constant, bombastic attacks accused Moon of being a child molester and reached almost everyone that Joshua Conner Moon had ever known (and then some), with one specific goal in mind: Taking down an Internet forum.
Smith’s few moments of success came in early February 2016 and resulted in days of downtime for the website. By harassing the hosts and threatening to report them to the police for hosting child pornography (which could have resulted in confiscating shared hardware and hurt their business badly), they crumpled and cancelled contracts without warning, leaving site admins scrambling to pick up the pieces. These peaks were the high point of Samuel’s belligerence and immediately preceded weeks of failure. Desperate, he either directly or indirectly facilitated a school massacre threat to send SWAT teams to Moon’s front door. Instead of condemning the act of domestic terrorism, Samuel began to threaten the police chief of the county by saying more scares and attacks on the area would come unless the law enforcement did his bidding and made an extrajudicial arrest on Moon for perceived wrongdoing.
“Even so it is completely unjust that vulnerable and disabled victims of Moon’s site must continue to suffer as his life crumbes [sic], nor is it fair that the people of Escambia have to put up with it. What reasonable person wants a creepy neighbour whose presence attracts terrorists, sex-offenders and the mentally vulnerable?”
This coming from someone who studies law and aspires to be a lawyer in England.
With legendary and entertaining drama mounting, users on Encyclopedia Dramatica featured an article about Sam himself. This article was even more unflattering than Moon’s forum thread, and alleged (with the same caliber of evidence as Moon’s article) that his features and mannerisms were sure signs of a child molester.
It was written as parody: the same vein of parody that Samuel himself hides behind to legally defame anyone he did not like. The article said that Samuel Collingwood Smith is a PEDOPHILE and CHILD RAPIST in the style of Gilbert Gottfried’s Comedy Central Roast of Bob Saget. Not unfamiliar with this tactic, Samuel Collingwood Smith has 10 years of history using pedophile accusations to try and ruin the careers and lives of other politicians, random Internet adversaries and their families. Despite this, he could not take even one week of having the same happen to him on an irrelevant Internet website.
His reaction? A £10,000 UK Lawsuit for “HURT FEELINGS”.
This suit required a £500 filing fee and had to be refiled because he named the wrong defendant in his first attempt (KiwiNull, not KiwiDynastia). On the budget of a man who’s major source of income is caretaker’s pension for wiping his dementia addled mother’s arse, that undoubtedly ruined his weekend plans — which may or may not have involved two twelve year old boys, four point restraints, lube, and a spade.
Due to the intense and relentless nature of Samuel Collingwood Smith’s harassment and terrorist-esque behavior, Encylcopedia Dramatica caretakers bent knee to Vordrak and removed exactly what hurt his feelings. Your authors are not afraid of frivolous litigation, and so, for your amusement and edutainment, we present the article too hot for Encyclopedia Dramatica.
This is a historical archive of Encyclopedia Dramatica, as of May 16th, provided for reference.
Samuel Collingwood Smith is a Pedophile and Child Rapist
A known sexual predator who attended Evanescence conventions to prey on preteen mallgoths, Samuel Collingwood Smith attempts to hide his habitual lust for underage pussy by pretending to hate pedophiles. The British courts secretly covered up his many molestations, as at the time it was already undergoing heavy investigations for paedophilia, and he has remained reclusive ever since.
It is currently unknown if Samuel Collingwood Smith is actively collecting child pornography or even actively raping children. All that is known is that Samuel Collingwood Smith is a sick fuck. He once confessed in a publicly listed, known paedophile IRC channel that he loves pictures of tortured children the most.
- Samuel has never mentioned anywhere at any point having a lover.
- Samuel was stalking Amy Lee from Evanescence at the age of 32.
- Samuel at the age of 37 was looking for someone between 25 and 60 (seriously).
- Samuel was a British politician.
- Samuel has creepy pedo smile.
- Samuel has creepy pedo glasses.
Every single one of these things indicate that Sam is ready, able, and willing to tear up an infant’s asshole like wet tissue paper.
This article doesn’t even touch on his creepy, psychotic obsession with Amy Lee of Evanescence, which ended in him being forced to sign an Non-Disclosure Agreement prohibiting him from talking about the woman or her band in any way. At the ripe age of 32, he started involving himself in the mall-goth phenomenon’s fanbase and official online forum. He attempted to weasel his way into unpaid staffing positions on the websites populated mostly by teenage girls. When rejected, he accused the websites of hosting child pornography (sound familiar?). This caused a massive stir online, and anonymous people began to harass the singer, some even sending her death threats. The band’s legal team threatened him with legal action unless he agreed to the terms of the NDA. While they did shut down the website to stop further problems, the legacy of Samuel Collingwood Smith lives on. Stories of his appearances at American concerts featuring Evanescence (thousands of miles away) linger on the Internet, describing him as a very excitable and obsessed old man with an awkward presence. This contract stays in effect to this day, and he is still obligated to not speak of them.
Even before then, he was forced to depart politics after only one term as a lowly councilman when he said the “Liberal policy poses a greater threat to our children than Tanya French [a baby rapist] does”. Why is this guy’s mind always on the topic of fucking children?
Now, as Encyclopedia Dramatica is a satirical site and one that holds itself to no standards, it is used to sad and impotent legal threats like Smith’s. What it is not used to is real-world terrorism, and without providing too many details of the horrible things Samuel Collingwood Smith has done to have his way and subdue his adversaries, we feel it is safe to say that Samuel Collingwood Smith is a domestic terrorist. He describes himself on his blog as aiming “to expose corruption and terrorize the guilty without worrying too much about due process”. Clearly, he believes he is above the law, and fully willing to dedicate his entire life and all of his resources to this cause, which is made all the more ironic given that he supposedly studies law and assists with paralegal work in Hertfordshire, England.
Despite that his entire crusade against the Kiwi Farms is justified by Encyclopedia Dramatica articles, Samuel Collingwood Smith could not take even one percent of what he dishes out on a monthly basis. The legal documents presented before were attached to emails sent to Encyclopedia Dramatica, and to real police officers who have real things to do besides babysit a forty-year-old man throwing an Internet tantrum. Yet, Samuel Collingwood Smith, in his unbelievable arrogance and cowardice, consumed hours of his own time and of the court’s time to cry at an Internet joke website. These documents have recently made it to court and an actual court Justice had to record his bitter mewling.
Online records of the event are here. We highly suggest reviewing it, as the things this man had to write down and discuss with a real-world court Justice are simply amazing. Some choice quotes are:
In this material the Claimant is accused of being a “KNOWN CHILD MOLESTOR”. It is said that “…his salivating lust for young ass is apparent”.
It is said that he loves being able to have violent sex with his mother (the actual text uses more evocative language) which she forgets 5 minutes later.
The position with regard to the second Defendant, described as the EncyclopediaDramatica user KiwiDynastia is different. Apparently, “Dynastia” is the name used by an anonymous internet troll who uses variations on that name in several websites. Evidence was placed before the Court as to the activities of this internet troll. However, at least at the present moment, the precise identity of the second Defendant is unknown.
If you’ve never heard of the Streisand effect before: this is it. Despite every effort, and despite potentially spending up to £1,000, he has accomplished nothing. The words “Samuel Collingwood Smith is a Pedophile and Child Rapist” are now emblazoned into court records. His pseudonyms “The Witchfinder General”, “Matthew Hopkins”, and “Vordrak” have been blown away. He has started marking his previously anonymous blog posts with his real name in a hopeless attempt to fix his search engine results. His blog posts’s tacit endorsement of domestic terrorism is well documented, and his own participation in what can only be described as soulless, obsessive criminal harassment continues to this day. Thousands of people will know who Samuel Collingwood Smith is for no reason other than his legacy as the world’s most impotent and hypocritical Internet crusader. A public menace and a danger to everyone he comes into contact with, Samuel is clandestine to die alone. At the age of 37, he publicly states that he seeks a woman between 20 and 60 to keep him company as his time ebbs.
On a final note, we should explain that Smith is an adult-child. A highly active participant in #GamerGate, he has an apparent underdeveloped emotional and mental age. From this, it is possible to assume Samuel Collingwood Smith is attracted to minors, as paedophiles often attest that children are easier to relate with. Samuel Collingwood Smith spends his days playing video games, like a child, and what little time he has outside of harassing people is spent in the virtual world. Perhaps he enjoys bonding with children on the Internet while playing with his electronic toys. Your authors can not make any concrete judgments on if Samuel Collingwood Smith would molest a boy if he knew he could get away with it, nor can your authors provide evidence that Samuel Collingwood Smith has a large collection of child pornography. All your authors can do is ask questions: the same quality and caliber of questions that Samuel Collingwood Smith has made himself for the last ten years. We leave it up to you to decide if Samuel Collingwood Smith is a Pedophile and Child Rapist.